There comes a time when intimacy births passion, when the comfort of closeness demands an outward expression, when love received overflows into love given, and the now satisfied selfish pursuit turns into a sacrifice for something beyond ourselves.

Selfish Love

So far, my DTS has been solely about me. I’ve come here looking for personal healing, freedom, and wholeness, and I don’t think that’s wrong.

Let me go on a tangent real quick…

If we were to define selfishness as living to primarily fulfill one’s own desires, than I would say that such a selfishness isn’t unbiblical. Throughout the bible we see the invitation of God for us to come to him for satisfaction. God doesn’t even require that we then become more beneficial to him. He doesn’t ask us to come to him so that we’ll become better people.  He invites us to be selfish. He invites us to come to him for our own satisfaction. He invites us to freely recieve (Isaiah 55:1). Why? Because he really loves us that much, he really wants to be our joy and peace, and he really wants to just be with us. Any loving husband desires to be the same for his wife. If he were merely doing loving actions to get her to become a better wife, we would not call him a loving husband. He loves because he wants her to feel loved. Similarly, we wouldn’t condemn a wife for going to her husband for joy and comfort. We wouldn’t even draw a distinction between her loving what she receives from her husband and loving her husband, because what she receives always leads to a greater love for the man. Yet how much greater is the love of the One who is Love? How much more does God invite us to come, not to learn a lesson, but to know and feel that we are loved? Indeed we have full permission, and even the beckoning of God, to run to him that our own joy may be full.

I would hate to see this open access hindered by religiosity and an attitude of productivity that says, “Don’t come to God if you’re only going to receive his love and stay the same.” I just don’t see that in the character of God. The sin that was most spoken of in the Old Testament was idolatry; it was running to things other than God. The primary request of God was to turn back to him. The goal has always been and always will be intimacy with him, not the good we can do for him. All that we ever do for God is merely a byproduct of the vibrant relationship we have with God. Jesus clearly said that the greatest commandment was to passionately love God, and all of the other laws are fulfilled in doing so.

I probably sound repetitive, but this must be understood before I continue. If we don’t start here, I don’t think we can move on to doing things for God. And we never really “move on” in the sense of leaving it behind. We must begin by simply receiving this love. We must delight ourselves in the lord. And when we feel full, keep asking for more.

1 John 4:8 says “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” What if we saw the problem not as the fruit but as the root? What if we didn’t first try to love better, but we first tried to know God more? Jesus says that “Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5).  I’m so believing that this generation is going to be one that understands the heart of God. A group of people who just want to be with God, and know that he just wants to be with them. People who have hearts that purely want Jesus. And the truth is that yeah, they will bear fruit, but that’s not the end goal. If we get focused on the fruit, we soon find thousands of fears and insecurities holding us back. But when we get wrapped up in the love of God, the outflow is a fruitful lifestyle free from fears and insecurities. And again, the fruitful lifestyle isn’t the goal, being with God is the goal.

…End of tangent.

Drinking Deeply

This past Thursday morning I stood in the Ohana Court as Lindy and Seth led us in worship. I looked around at the faces and outstretched arms of hundreds of people worshipping this King who has changed their lives forever. Right then a vivid memory came of Lindy and Seth leading worship at a Circuit Rider school in Pennsylvania almost three years ago. I remembered the feeling of faith and awe in that place, and again, here in Hawaii, the same feelings rushed in. It was in Lancaster, hanging out with hundreds of YWAMers who had just come from Kona, that I had dreamed of going to Kona. Years had gone by, yet here I was, encountering the love of God. I was instantly overwhelmed with gratitude for his faithfulness. Words could not express what I was feeling. I was full of faith and so aware of Jesus’ presence in that moment. I wept and just kept saying, “thank you.” And all I could think was “I never want to leave this place.”

I felt so loved and so in love. I just wanted to be here with Jesus forever. Then it hit me: This is guaranteed. I will be here forever. For all of eternity I will be in this place of being overwhelmed by his goodness. No matter what goes on in my life and what I go through, I will end up here again. My thoughts turned outward. But there are those who have never been here, and if I don’t do anything about it, they never will. So will I give up several years of comfort in the Ohana Court to spend my life inviting people the courts of heaven, where we’ll be forever? Oh, let all that is within me say, “Yes!”

Here I encountered the reality that in this place of going after God, this place of “selfishly” receiving God’s love, a phenomenon occurs: we get so close to the heart of God that we begin to feel what he feels and forget about serving ourselves. You see, when our selfishness encounters what it’s looking for, it no longer needs to be selfish. And it is only from this place of deep love with the father that we can truly love others. That’s why Jesus says when talking about the greatest commandment, “the second is like it” (Matthew 22:39). There is a direct parallel between loving God and loving others. But the first is put first, because without it, the second could never be.

Oh! I want my life will be one of drinking deep of God’s love, of running to him often! And as I do a greater intimacy will be reached, and my heart, filled and saturated with his love, will look outward onto a world that has never tasted what I’ve tasted, but they’ll see in my eyes and watch in my life that I have. From here, all I’ll have to do is reach out my hands and offer the invitation and freely give what I’ve freely received.